Can anybody say “Throughout my life, I have never told a lie”? The answer is absolutely “No, I lied before,”or “I lied many times that I can not remember the number of lies”. Nobody can imagine a person who is completely truthful. In most of the incidents, people in fact do not understand that they tell a lie. Lies are so common place, they almost seem like the truth. Actually, it seems like a truth to the eye of the liar because liar’s world accepts it as a truth. We all accept our own truths in our own worlds. However, lies are not very harmful or serious problems. In addition to this, telling a lie is sometimes more appropriate than telling the truth. In my opinion, it is sometimes better to lie than to tell the truth.
First of all, it is sometimes better to lie than to tell the truth so that we do not hurt others. Some people will feel disappointed, frustrated, or upset if the words from other people aren’t the wanted words that these people expected. They will built castles in the air about everything before the conversation, but unexpected words during the conversation will collapse their castle, in other words, thier desires and dreams. For example, imagine that you are going to have a meal at your close friend house in one evening. During the evening, you may not like the dinner that your close friend serves. What would you do? Of course, you mustn’t say “ Your meal is irritating and I hate it”. This would be very rude. Instead you should try to be more polite. Although you don’t like the meal, you should say “I like your dinner tonight, your dessert and the other courses are the most delicious ones that I have ever tasted”. After meal, you will see that your friendship will be strengthened, and your friend will behave more respectful to you since you will have said the things that he/she wanted from you. The other example is that you can motivate somebody by telling a lie instead of hurting . Imagine again that you are teacher, and there is a student who is unsuccessful. Other teachers think that this student has no intention to study hard. Also, his heart was broken because he thinks that he hasn’t got any speciall skills and talents. In this case, our behaviour to student must not be hurtful. We can tell him a lie -to motivate him- like, “Tom -George, Amelie, Ali, Veli-, your performance has been increasing in these days, I hope that you will be a good student in the future”. This words which comes from our mouth will impress the attention of this student to courses. Besides, we will not hurt the student’s feelings. By the way, even he/she could be successful in his/her courses. (Moreover, there are many researchs about telling a lie to the students. According to research result, the way I explained you is the best way that teacher can conduct over students. For example, in one experiment, scientists chose a classroom at the first class of elementary school, and they always said the students in this classroom “You all are very intelligent and succesful”. Although they were not intelligent, they begun to believe that they were intelligent. As a result, they finished the courses very well. From all of these, we can understand that as a teacher, we can motivate students by telling a lie.) Final example is that lovers may not hurt their partner’s feelings by telling a lie. The partnership always needs respect and mutual understanding (respectiveness). Naturally, if they want to be understanding, they will have to tell a lie. For example, our partner has given a gift to us. Unfortunately it isn’t the gift that we expected. If we say him/her “I am sorry, but this kind of gift is not appropriate for me.”, we will absolutaly break our partner’s heart. On the other hand, we will say “Oh dear, this is the gift that takes place in my dreams. I like it very much”, then you can look at your partner’s eyes. They seems very pleased. As a result, your relationship goes on more vigorous than it used to by telling a little white lie. In brief, people can make other people by telling a white lie instead of breaking their heart.
In Addtion, it is sometimes better to lie than to tell the truth so that we don`t have to do something that others want. Sometimes we will get confused because of the hardness of the life. In that time, we will think that no one can make us do something. As a result, we will tell a whlte lie to get rid of other people desires. For example, one night your friend calls you and said ‘’I want to go out tonight, would you like to come with me?’’ Although you feel so good in that night, , you don`t want to go out with him/her since you don`t like him/her. There is only one way to reject your friend offer and it is telling a white lie. You can say ‘ I`m very sorry, but I am not avaible to go out becuse I feel upset and tired. In the afternoon, I have to work hard in my office’’, or you can say "I am afraid, I can't accept your offer. I feel not good, but on Friday, I am available to go out" . After telling this white lie, your friend will be persuaded and you will solve this problem without breaking his/her heart. The another example is that you can tell a lie not to do things that you don`t like. For example, suppose that you don't like to go cinema in a sunny day, but your friends want to watch "X-Men 2". Instead you want to go open air cafe or place. You can tell a little lie like "I heard that the germs of SARS comes from the dark place like cinema, theatre, etc..." After that, you can add "The open air places will be more appropriate than cinema. We should go to the cafe to taste the pleasure of the sunny day.
All in all, as you see telling a lie will be appropriate and inevitable as a solution of some problems. With telling a lie we can manage our relationship and keep the friendship. There are many ways to tell a lie in some events, and telling a lie is more profitable than telling the truth. In my opinion, sometimes our lives are full of lies and the real becomes a lie with not telling the truth. The truths can be changed and there is no person who says "I have never told a lie". If he/she says "I have never told a lie" , we can understand that he/she is a real liar.
From the childhood we are taught not to lie to the parents, but our parents lie to us saying that they will buy this thing tomorrow and never buy it. In the school we are taught not to lie to the teachers, but our teachers lie to us saying that they will not punish if we confirm the lie, however give lots of extra tasks, in order to remember that it is to do like this. In the workplace we are taught not to lie to our director, but our director asks to lie that he is at the workplace, when he is out. If we are taught to say true from the childhood, why it is so hard to follow this rule when you are adult? Why people lie if it is so easy to say true, or it isn’t? What are the affects of lying?
The lie exists as long as the language in the word. The McMillan dictionary gives the following definition of this term: “Lie – is something that you say or write that is not true and that you know is not true”. According to this definition, if the person knows that he lies, he does it intentionally, that is why he needs to have the reasons for lying.
The philosophers and physiologists have different views on this topic. However, they have agreed on the different reasons that depend on the age, position, situation, personal aims and etc. For example, there are two reasons why children lie. The first is a fear of parents` reaction on the behavior or action. A child is afraid to be punished. This fear forces him or her to lie. The second reason is the so-called "fictional reality". Kids invent for themselves another world, another reality. This might happen when they feel uncomfortable in the real life. They do not want to perceive the world around. They start to dream and live these dreams.
One can say that it is not a big deal, that the child creates some world in order to play. Does it make harm to anybody? Yes, it does.
First of all, the small lie can lead to the big one. Almost anyone is acquainted with the situation, when in order to look better in the eyes of the new familiar, you are telling the truth but with little additions. First you have said that you are 22, but not 25 as in reality; than, that you are one of the best students in the university or even more that you are going to buy a new car. On the next date you will add something more and more, because the think you need is this person to think well about you. However, the disappointment that will be after can erase all your affords. The same is with that child in his own world. First he will be playing saying the lie about his world, but the next step will be the bigger lie to the parents, which as a rule lead to uncontrolled situations. Is it worth this?
What is more, the scientist of the University of Western Australia have founded out that the consequences of lying can not be corrected by rebutting them. They carried out the survey with 160 volunteers-students, which showed that one time heard false information has a significant impact on a person even after it has been many times refuted. A similar effect continued to operate even when the participants of the experiment were told that the information was not correct and they absolutely believed in it. For example, if the jury was convinced that the witness told a lie, he will treat his evidence with a share of no confidence, even after he found out that the first information was false. The similar thought had the philosopher Immanuel Kant. In his "Critique of Pure Reason" he says that even a harmless lie can not be considered harmless because it "remains a serious breach of duty to oneself." Such lie destroys a human dignity and deprives him of the confidence of the people around him (Tim C. Mazur). From this state is very hard to return to normal life. Is it worth this?
Thirdly, lie has a great influence on the relationships. It doesn’t matter if the relationships are between the colleagues and supervisor, children and parents or inside the marriage couple, if one side starts lying, everything can be ruined. For example, if the husband asks his wife if everything OK, she confirms it, but thinks that he doesn’t do his work around the house, she will only make the conflict worth. You do not need to buy for your wife luxuries, when your business runs down just to show her that everything is good. You do not need to buy the food from the restaurants before the husband comes home just to show that you are a good cooker. Long or late the lie would be revealed. What is more, when you will be coated on lying, he will think twice to trust you next time. Is it worth this?
At the last, the worst effect of lying is guilt. If person knows that he lies, especially if it is big lie, the feeling of the guilt can lead to the great consequences such as depression, sometimes physical illness, or even to death. However, the researchers show that some people have quilt not because they lied, but because they have been coated on lying. Nevertheless, even if you are not coated on lying, the constant feeling of guilt will depress you. There are lots of examples, when because of feeling of guilty the person commits a suicide. Is it worth this?
To make the long story short, people can’t live without telling the lie. Lie is everywhere: at home, school, work. We remember it from our childhood and it surrounds us now. One can lie to the teacher, supervisor, friend or colleague. He can name lots of reasons why he was lying and all of them would seem to be reasonable. Even in the case of revealing the lie, one would do all his best to convince you that it was because of very respective reasons. It is your option weather to believe him or not, but you should always think about the future consequences: the small lie can lead to the big one; every lie would cause consequences and soon or late would be revealed; the lie have influence on you mind and it is hard to believe in truth after; lie has a great influence on the relationships and the worst effect of lying is guilt that can lead to the serious diseases. So do you still think that it is worth this?
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